The Human Side Of Meth

Part of the time we had two facilitators as it was felt that support would be necessary for myself and also different viewpoints/perspectives being needed. The women were immediately excited about the prospect of the group. We began talking about going out to visit other community partners so the women could share their stories of addiction and their feelings on what the drug did to their lives, their children and their dignity. The people the women gave presentations to were: an infant massage therapist, AEA, Head Start staff, school counselors, in-home providers, Lt. Governor Sally Pederson, Human Resource Committee at the State Capital, State Representative Galen Davis, County Attorney, Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Susan Schechter and Catlin Fullwood of New York.

These groups were very educational to people who didn’t understand the reality and human aspect of meth addiction. The women shared their stories of how they grew up, when they began using, the effect it had on their life and how life was for them today. Many people in the audience stated that they felt hearing the women’s stories was much more educational than the other presentations they had attended. Some of the audience members cried and were very touched by their stories. Their honesty was very powerful.

The community began to support and encourage these women and they were embraced instead of being shunned. The women also began trying to put together fundraisers so they could get out and try some sober activities such as going to Adventureland as a group, a slumber party, and a cook-out at Lake Wapello. They held bake sales and car washes to earn the money for these activities.

Our events did not include taking the children. The women loved having time to act silly and have fun together as women. Close and intimate relationships with other women was not a part of the women’s past as they had been taught through experience not to trust other women and viewed each other as the enemy, or as competition. We discussed with the women the importance of finding things to do that they enjoyed and how to take care of their own emotional needs first, so they would have a better chance of staying clean and sober and rebuilding their lives.

Due to the extreme feelings of guilt and shame surrounding the women who had children in foster care because of their addiction; we began to talk about the importance of learning how to take this time as a gift instead of something negative. The women discussed the importance of using this time constructively to enjoy themselves, learn about who they were as women, what they liked, and to take care of themselves so they could enjoy being a parent.

Many women had been parents and been in relationships since they were very young and had never really had any time by themselves before. Turning negatives into positives was an important tool to use with the women. Getting outside of their emotional feelings and seeing “reality” was an ongoing process. Getting out of problems and into solutions is a necessity over and over in the group as staying “stuck” in this was a large part of the women relapsing when problems became overwhelming.

The women wanted information about how to parent their children who had lived most of their lives in a substance abusing home. Many of the children had extensive behavioral issues that the women felt were not being addressed or changed during family centered services. Another identified barrier was that the roles were reversed when the women got into recovery. Many of the children were very "parentified" (a process of role-reversal between the parent and the child) and had a very hard time accepting their mother as head of the family. Letting go of their role was a challenge for the women and their children. Trust was also a major issue for the children and they were afraid to trust that their moms were coming home when they said they were, that they were going to stay clean, and that they could talk about things that they used to fear.

We also began discussing different ways the women could become more actively involved during visits and in-home skill development sessions with providers. Some of the women were still very resentful about DHS involvement and removal of their children and this inhibited their success during visits. As facilitators it was important to use group, and one on one time with the women to help them work through these feelings and to get actively involved.