Distorted And/Or Dysfunctional Thinking Patterns

All Or Nothing Thinking

Everything is seen in extremes for this type of thinker.  If they don't come in first in a race, as far as they're concerned, they failed and it was a waste of time.  If they don't get the best job within the company, there's little point in working for the company at all.  If someone isn't willing to commit to them romantically one hundred per cent, they have no interest in having any type of relationship. If they can't have it all, they want nothing.  In other words, If things aren't absolutely perfect, they absolutely suck - there's no middle ground.

What kind of person does this create.  Bitter?  Unfulfilled? Never satisfied?

Chronic Generalization

One negative event or outcome is seen as part of a continuing pattern of negatives.  This generates statements like "You see?  The kids next door were caught shoplifting.  Kids today are are selfish, dishonest brats."  OR "Did you see how that clerk in the store ignored us?  Retail clerks today couldn't care less about anybody."

So with this type of distortion, the fact that most kids are honest and most store clerks actually do pay attention to you, doesn't matter.  The negative examples become the entire perception and opinion.

So think about what kind of person this creates.  Dim view of the world?  Hates life?

Faulty Filters

A healthy mind weighs everything that happens, filters out most of the negatives and takes forward the positives.  But someone with a faulty filter just has to grab on to one negative and they dwell on it obsessively.  Ultimately, that one negative infects all the positives, so that everything has become darkened and tainted by the negative.  People like this could win the lottery, but if they stubbed their toe on the way over to pick up their winnings, that's what they'd be focusing on.

What kind of person does this create?  Gloomy?  Obsessed by negative feelings?

Disqualification

Even when good things happen, they're disqualified because they don't count.  Even if the past week has been marked by nothing but good things, reference will always go back far enough to find something negative.

What kind of person does this create?  Dark?  Brooding?  Feels they never get a break?

Negative Conclusions

Even before they've got all the facts, they know that the outcome will be negative.  They know that the vacation they're about to go on is going to be terrible even before they get there.  Before their first day on a new job, they've convinced themselves that the other employees are idiots and it will be sheer hell working there.

What kind of person does this create?  Cynical?  Nothing to look forward to? Pessimistic?

Telescopic And Microscopic Thinking

Anything positive is looked at as if you were looking through the wrong end of a telescope so even the most enormous positive appears tiny.  Conversely, anything negative is looked at with a microscope, so that even the smallest negative appears enormous.  So even if most of their experience is positive, it's seen as trivial, while negatives are analyzed over and over again.

What kind of person does this create?  Withdrawn?  Beaten?  Morose?

Emotional Rationalization

This kind of thinking says, "Because I personally feel the world sucks, it is therefore a fact that the world sucks."  In other words, if they feel it, it must be true of the entire universe.

What kind of person does this create?  Someone living in a world that sucks?

The "Mandatory" Mind Set

They feel that everything "should" be done, or "must" be done and if it isn't, it's natural to feel guilty about it.  Nothing is done out of desire, there are no options, everything is mandatory.

What kind of person does this create?  Victimized?  Guilty?  Bullied by themselves?

Labeling

When they make a mistake, they attach an emotional label to the mistake and they call themselves a "loser."  When they don't get the promotion they were hoping for, they attach a label to themselves as a "failure."  And if someone else makes an error, they will attach an equally negative and emotional label to them as well.  Mistakes are never seen as merely human failings, or opportunities to learn, they're seen as indelible stains on their character that will never come out.

What kind of person does this create?  A perpetual loser and failure?  Someone unworthy?

Personalization

They see themselves as responsible for negatives that in reality, might have had nothing to do with them.  Therefore even when their world is okay, they find an external negative to attach to themselves to.  If there's a war anywhere in the world (and there always is) they feel personally responsible for it and they vent this by complaining constantly and feeling guilty.

What kind of person does this create?  Never happy?  Frustrated? Responsible for all the world's problems?

Professional Victims/Martyrs

They are victimized by everyone and everything in the world.  Everyone is out to screw them and harm them and they practically walk around carrying a wooden cross on their shoulders to show the world what they're sacrificing in their role as the victim and the martyr.

So finally, what kind of person does this create?  A whiner? A moaner? Immature?

So Who Do We Have Here?

So who exactly do we have here if they had all of these distorted modes of thinking.  Well, we have someone who's gloomy, obsessed by negative feelings and rarely if ever satisfied because they have a dim view of the world.  They're always cynical because they never get a break and what difference would it make anyway because there's nothing to look forward to in life and that's why they're never happy.

Naturally, they're withdrawn and morose because they're pessimistic, vulnerable and immature and feel like they're constantly victimized, punished and beaten.  This makes them feel like a loser and a failure, which in turn causes feelings of guilt because they are after all, responsible for all the world's problems.

Of course, this is pretty frustrating for them because obviously they're unworthy which explains why they can never be happy, and why they always lose, and always fail, which of course, makes them feel guilty.  But in the final analysis, it's okay to hate life when you're living in a world that sucks anyway.  

"Just Shoot Me"

Well now!  Not exactly someone you'd hire as a motivational speaker is it?  But what this example shows is that faulty thinking can lead to an extremely dysfunctional or maladjusted person.  And we all have a little bit of one or two of these cognitive distortions in our communications makeup, that's just a part of being a human being.

But when it begins to dominate our thinking, when any one of these distortions become our "default" mode of thinking, it can change our experience of the world and start to make it look ugly.  It will depress some, make others feel extremely stressed and anxious, basically everyone will find a way to express this extremely distorted view they have.  And even worse, it can begin to make our situation in life look hopeless.  And it's at this point, that our senses start to become our enemy because they're feeding us false and distorted information.  And this is exactly the fertile ground that addiction requires to plant the seed.

Make The World Go Away (at least this one)

So some choose to change their perception of an ugly, hopeless world by finding a medication that makes it seem better, if only temporarily.  For some, the medication is alcohol, for others it's a drug.  Some people cope by losing themselves in the fast action of gambling, or by entering the fantasy world inside a computer game, or chat room.  The point is, the addiction or the compulsion are "vehicles" that take you from a place you can't or won't tolerate, to one that you feel better in.

And this is precisely why when you look at someone's addiction, or even someone's potential for addiction, you must look beyond the substance, beyond the statistics, and beyond the scare tactics.  You have to understand the thinking that's going on and you have to be able to recognize distorted thinking when you see it and understand what it can do if it's not changed through education and awareness.

You must also know that the first thing addiction itself does is set up a faulty premise and begin creating distorted thinking.  No matter what the addiction is - alcohol, drugs, gambling, internet chat - the faulty premise was "because it made me feel way better in the beginning, it will continue to do so, even after it's started having negative consequences."  No matter what "vehicle" of addiction you choose, once it's distorted your thinking to believing that you need it to exist, your brain has basically become re-wired.  Addiction exists second to nothing - it either dominates entirely, or it doesn't play.

It's Never Too Early

This is especially important when it comes to your kids.  If they begin to adopt certain modes of distorted or faulty thinking, given enough time and in the absence of any education to the contrary, the distortion will become their default mode and to one degree or another, their world will become a little uglier, a little harder to take.  And they may want to medicate that feeling away.  And if other factors are in place, addiction has found a ready, willing and capable host.

However if you're able to change someone's faulty thinking, you not only clear up the distortion, you change how they see the world and their potential for accomplishing something positive within it.  And if they can accept "life on life's terms," just maybe they won't have to medicate their way around it.

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