"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today."

Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865, Sixteenth President of the USA

A Question To Ponder....

One - How many of the people who are writing about the addictive "horrors" of gaming, chat and other internet activities actually have any experience with these activities?  We don't know the answer, but our intuition tends to make us feel that it wouldn't be very many, if any at all.

Introduction:

This tutorial deals with some of the more intricate aspects of excessive online activity, or what some call "online obsession," or even "online addiction."  To properly understand this issue, like any other subject discussed on our site, we feel it's important to see it in context.  For example, looking at the online world through a forty or fifty-year old's eyes, presents a much different picture than when you look at it through the eyes of a child, teenager, or adolescent who has literally grown up with the computer as an essential, integral part of their lives.  So before reading our tutorial, we might suggest you watch the Frontline PBS Series, "Growing Up Online."

This series, which is broken into small chapters, will give you a backdrop for this issue, and really enable you to see it in the proper light.  Just click the image below, and when you get to the PBS page, click "Watch The Full Program Online."  Once you've watched all or as much of the program as you like, our tutorial with be that much more effective for you.

Let's Keep Our Feet On The Ground

Before we begin our discussion of the legitimate issues concerning internet-related "addictions," or "compulsive internet use" of the internet, we want to make a few quick comments regarding the sensationalism that's being applied to this issue.  Nothing infuriates us more than some "quack" masquerading as a "certified expert" commenting in the media that "internet addiction" is "just as serious as addiction to hard drugs."

Frankly, we think that kind of statement is absurd.  But maybe we're wrong and maybe they're right.  So we'd like to extend one of these "experts" to visit us at our Toronto, Ontario, Canada location.  We'll set them up to spend a weekend with an active methamphetamine addict, followed by a weekend with someone addicted to internet chat, or addicted to online games.  Then let's see what they say about the two problems being comparable.

Secondly, some news reports recently shown in the UK show the "terrible scourge" of children as young as six "hopelessly addicted to online computer games," "completely out of control," "refusing to go to school," "striking their parents," - even one case of a kid throwing his grandmother down a staircase because she was in between him and his computer.

And what stuck out for us is that when the parent, or parents of these children were interviewed, they all seemed to have I.Q.'s slightly lower than a common houseplant.  And naturally, the parent's concern is backed up by "internet addiction experts," literally drooling at the thought of the increased revenue they'll take in from thousands of new clients they're about to recruit by exaggerating the issue.   Well, we'd like these "parents" to know that they don't need to spend any money on therapy or medication for their problem child - all they have to do is follow these simple instructions.

Wait until your "little angel" has fallen asleep.  Turn off their computer if it's on, and unplug it from the wall.  Take the highly specialized tool shown to the right (they're called scissors) and cut all the power cords in half. And remember, make sure it's unplugged from the wall before you cut the cords because you wouldn't want to shock yourself and cause more trauma to your brain than you obviously already have. Then when your little "addict" wakes up and begins freaking out because they can't play their computer games, start enforcing some discipline and acting like a real parent.  We're not child psychology experts, but we know

bad parenting when we see it, and this is where the problem lies, not with the computer, or the designers of the games.  Any activity that becomes compulsive or obsessive is a sign that something is out of whack.  And when that happens with a child, the first responsibility is with the parent, or parents to assume the role of a parent.   

If you were to pick up a paper just eighteen months ago, you saw article after article about "internet addiction."  It was the "flavor of the month" so to speak, and according to some the articles, an entire generation was about to be lost.  Well - it never happened.  Society adjusted, and the gaming world, the chat world, and applications like "Second Life" are bigger now than they ever were.  So as we examine this issue, we really are going to try and keep out feet on the ground, and not be tempted by exaggeration and over-the-top sensationalism.

Sorry for the rant, but addiction is bad enough today without it being distorted and marginalized by self-proclaimed "experts" and parents with abysmal parenting skills.  So let's move on, and discuss the real problems with this issue, and some of the types of real people who are experiencing those problems.

Is This The Real Life...Is This Just Fantasy?

Myra is 38 years old, is separated from her husband of eleven years and has two children, ages five and nine.  She plays an online game called Second Life.  Within that game she has formed an eighteen month relationship with a fellow gamer, and since "hooking up," they have purchased and share a virtual home, a car and family.  Currently on social assistance and a monthly payment she receives from an insurance claim, she spends between 8 and 14 hours per day in the virtual world of the game.

Daniel is twenty-two and lives in a converted area of his parent's basement.  He typically spends no less than ten hours a day playing an MMORPG. (Massively-Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game)  He has no friends, no social activities outside the game, eats and sleeps irregularly, and showers at best once a week.  If he has any "schedule of responsibilities" whatsoever, it's participating in the planned "raids" within the game.  Never popular at school, and often ridiculed for being overweight and having a slight speech impediment, Daniel enjoys an extremely high status within the world of his game of choice.

Some will insist that both Caroline and Daniel have a problem, in fact some would argue they are both addicted to their internet-related activities.  Others will contend that internet-based addictions are all media hype, and that addiction only applies to substance abuse.  They see these types of "get a life" people as somewhat obsessive-compulsive, but not that different from people who intensively pursue more traditional hobbies like amassing huge collections of stamps, collecting sports memorabilia, or bird watching.

If You See Yourself In The 5 to 7 Paragraphs, Don't Read Any Further

In our examination of internet-related addictions, what you'll find is that like every other addiction, compulsion, or "maladaptive behavior," it's an extremely personal and subjective phenomenon, with no easy answer.  It's too easy to simply apply a quick label - you must look at the whole person in the context of their total environment.  And that's what we're going to try and do for you here.

Also, our overall theory of addiction applies here as well.  Whether you're watching life pass you by because you're incessantly playing games, chatting, staring at pornography, or whatever your "thing" on the internet is, the "thing" isn't the problem - it's the symptom of the problem.  All addictions are "vehicles" that the individual uses to in some way, feel better than they do without it.  Spending six hours straight on the computer isn't the issue, it's what results from spending that much time on the computer. 

The "Armor" Against Addiction So if you're a relatively happy, well-adjusted person who is more often than not, pretty satisfied with your perception of life and your place in it, internet games are not going to negatively impact you, nor is internet chat, internet gambling, or anything else to do with the internet.  You will use the internet for whatever you use it for and life will go on.  And that's because as we said, you have a life that you're pretty satisfied with. Being fairly satisfied with life and fairly satisfied with yourself are what we call, the "armor against addiction," which acts as a shield.

As long as this "shielding armor" is in good shape, you will probably never feel the need to hide behind one of the "vehicles" of addiction.  You don't have to drink, drug, chat, or game, or "Facebook" yourself into oblivion, because that would mean too much time away from reality, and more often than not, you like reality.  So addiction to Facebook, an obsession with Second Life, or an addiction to Everquest, etc. share something in common with drugs and alcohol.  They are potentially vehicles you use to avoid who you are, (or think you are) and your perception of life.

So again, if you like your life, and you're fairly satisfied with who you are in real life, you don't have to spend weeks, months, or even years building an online persona and status level within an online game, because in most ways, you're pretty satisfied with who you are, and how you think other people perceive you.

So if this describes you, you can stop reading, because you're probably never going to have an internet-related addiction, or for that matter, any other kind of addiction.  Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky.  And the rest of this "How To" is for them.

First Things First - Are “Net Compulsions” Really Addictions?”

As with gambling, there’s tremendous debate right now in the addictions field as to whether internet-related “addictions” accurately fit the traditional “model,” or definition of an addiction.  Historically, many have argued that internet compulsions weren't really "addictions." And that's because technically, they feel an addiction must have a "physiological" component to it, where the body actually craves and needs something in order to avoid withdrawal, such as you would find with a drug or alcohol addiction.

Yet recently, some experts and therapists report they're now seeing patients in recovery from obsessive computer use who display similar signs of withdrawal to those found in alcoholics or drug addicts - including profuse sweating, severe anxiety and disorientation.  So in this sense, internet-related " addiction" at least mimics traditional addictions.

For internet addiction to get real legitimacy, it will ultimately have to be included in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)  That means that not only does the medical community formally recognize it, it also has implications for how it will be handled by insurance companies and health providers.

Are There "Precursors" For Net Addiction Like There Is For Other Addictions?

Alcoholics get comfort from alcohol because among other things, it relieves anxiety, while many users of stimulant drugs find it lifts their depression.  And the most recent research seems to indicate that roughly half of all people experiencing net compulsions or addictions have previously suffered with depression or anxiety disorders.

In addition, 50-60% also report a prior history of alcohol or drug abuse.  So in the case of anxiety or depression, perhaps these net compulsions are the "medication" used to treat the condition.  And for the person with a prior history of alcohol or drug abuse, perhaps the net compulsion is an example of "swapping one addiction for another," which we know is common for people in recovery.  (People in recovery from substance abuse tend to do everything in a BIG way.")

Men versus Women

As usual in discussions about addiction, most people fail to recognize that there are unique differences between men and women, and this applies to net addictions and compulsions as well.  For women, often the internet is the "vehicle" that takes them to more friendship, support, emotional intimacy and romance.  They find the internet an excellent way of not only airing their feelings about their lives and relationships, but also of validating those beliefs.  If a woman doesn't feel that she's receiving enough affection from her real life spouse, she can throw out a "for instance..." type of scenario to her online friends and within seconds, her misgivings about her relationship can be validated for her.

Just as you might expect, men's "cyber-compulsions" focus less on feelings and more on "end objectives."   They will compulsively pursue "information seeking and gathering," (particularly sports) as well as cybersex and objective-driven game playing.  More data are needed to be absolutely sure, but it seems these gender preferences seem to transcend cultural differences as well.  In other words, to one degree or another, it's "built-in" or "hardwired."

It's not necessarily "politically correct" to discuss gender differences, but there are a variety of differences between the male and female brain and many of these differences have an impact on addiction issues.  Just do a Google search on the differences between the male and female brain and you'll see what we mean.  

Dopamine Levels

Irrespective of what exact "vehicle" they use to get there, the destination of both males and females with Net compulsions is an increase in their dopamine levels.  (Dopamine is a natural “feel good” organic compound produced in the brain.)  Studies seem to confirm that when a person is pursuing their internet-related compulsion, there are sharply increased levels of dopamine produced in their brain.     This is the same function alcohol serves for the alcoholic, or cocaine serves for the cocaine addict.

So using that measurement, we could say that the internet addiction really is an authentic addiction.  However, further complicating the issue is the fact that any repetitive activities cause an increase in the production of dopamine in the brain, particularly repetitive activities that become progressively more difficult, such as online games.  So again, there might be more to the issue than just chemical changes.

We know that "psychological addictions" are caused by wanting to retain or enhance positive feelings and stimuli.  From this perspective, winning in online gambling, playing computer games, projecting an alter-ego or image in a chat room, or viewing pornography all qualify as fitting the "psychological" test of addiction.

Cutting To The Chase

Well obviously, we can go on forever about whether Internet related addictions qualify as true addictions or not, because there's no shortage of theories.  There's "cost-benefit analysis," "action consequence theory," "sunk cost theory," and Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

We could also talk about studies that provide earth-shaking revelations like "what percentage of kids between the ages of ten and fourteen with freckles and brown hair spent five hours or more per day on the Net during the past year?"  Unfortunately, none of this really helps you if you think you have a problem, or you think someone you care about does.  So on the next page, let's have a look at the "flavors" of internet addiction.

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