Talking To Teens About Drugs And Alcohol

The most important word that appears within this tutorial is the word "talk." In fact, "talking" is one of the most important concepts in the field of addictions in general, because talking is one of the ways that we heal ourselves when actually in the process of recovery from addiction. "Talking" is the release valve for our hearts, minds and souls and quite frankly, not feeling free to talk and communicate to the right people was one of the contributing factors that led to most of us becoming addicted in the first place. And that's because feeling alone and feeling different and not being able to tell anybody about it is the perfect environment for addiction to "blossom" in.

Just sit in on any 12 step program recovery meeting anywhere in the world and undoubtedly you'll hear someone say something about "feeling different" as a child, "not feeling comfortable in their own skin," or keeping a lot of their emotions inside and bottled up. And when things get bottled up inside us, they tend to spoil and start infecting the way we think.

And talking might not magically make problems disappear, but talking definitely reduces the burden of those problems, even if they don't disappear . One thing we know for sure, not talking and keeping everything to ourselves solves nothing and is often the birthplace of distorted, self-defeating thoughts, which given enough time will lead to self-destructive behaviors such as addiction.

So don't let anyone kid you. The "gateways" to addiction are not alcohol, marijuana, or any other substance. Healthy, well balanced and self-loving people rarely become addicted because reality is at the very least, tolerable. The real "gateways" to addiction are bad feelings, unhealthy and possibly distorted perceptions, unresolved events, memories and feelings, and an inability to cope with them properly. It's about never feeling worthy despite what you accomplish, and that awful sensation of being lonely in a crowded room that's full of people.

If you talk to enough people who actually have struggled with addiction, the resounding sentiment you hear is about not feeling comfortable with who you are, and not feeling comfortable telling anyone about it. And this is precisely the fertile ground that addiction uses to make itself look attractive. Despite how awful addiction becomes, in the early days for many, it's a wonderful escape from their day-to-day reality.

And in our opinion, "talking" is a form of "treatment" that you can apply to your child that simply lets some of these feelings out. As they say, "sunlight is the best disinfectant," and nowhere is that more applicable than with kids. And just maybe, if you get your child used to talking about what's going on inside early, you just might help them avoid ever having to go to that "other" type of treatment.

Ironically, in a time where technology was supposed to have given us more time and greater opportunities for communication, the percentage of parents that have a meaningful level of dialogue with their kids is going down. Less than one in three kids say they learned about drugs and alcohol from their parents, so obviously they're getting the information they need or want elsewhere.

In fact, a study conducted recently in Canada found that the average kid today spends 3 to 4 hours a day watching television versus an average of 13 minutes a day talking to their parents. And do you know what many parents say when they hear those figures? "Thirteen minutes? I'm surprised it's that much." Another survey in the U.S. revealed that a huge percentage of parents are completely in the dark about what their kids are doing at social gatherings. Either they don't know, don't have time to find out, or they don't want to know.

This doesn't mean that kids are inherently "bad" today, or that parents are particularly negligent. What it means is that we live in a much different world today. In some ways, the fifteen or sixteen year old of twenty years ago is the eleven year old of today. Kids are exposed to way more things today that, on some levels, makes them grow up fast. So the time to talk about critical subjects is sooner than later. Rather than wondering, "Is my child is using drugs or alcohol?" you're better off knowing if the pre-eixtsing conditions are there to make that question even relevant.,

So if you learn nothing else from reading this, at least go away understanding that one of the most important things you can do as a parent, is to instill a feeling in your kids that they can talk to you about anything. That doesn't mean they always will, but for them just to know that they can is extremely important and should be one of the components of a "contract of unconditional love" between a parent and their kids.

And you'll also notice that this tutorial is eight pages long, and that's because a lot of thought and care went in to writing it. It would be nice to just write one paragraph called "Ten Tips For Talking To Your Child About Drugs And Alcohol." But important life issues aren't solved in one paragraph, or reducing it down to "ten tips." It's an important, often critical issue, and hopefully, you place that same importance on your kids.

Next we're going to have a look at one of the major reasons in general that it's so hard being a parent today and having the proper of level of influence on your child.

Next "How To" - Recognizing Alcoholic Personality Traits