"There are many paths to enlightenment.

Be sure to take the one with a heart."

Lao Tzu

Your Heart Must Be In It

Finding a method, philosophy or path that will lead to recovery from addiction is one of the few areas in life when it's probably better to think with your heart, instead of your head.  That's because if you're heart's not in your recovery, your head won't stay in long either.  You really have to enjoy whatever method of recovery that you choose - just tolerating it won't do it.  If you're just tolerating or "putting up" with the recovery path you choose, you'll play the game for a while, and then sooner or later, you'll drop out.  And if you don't find something else fairly quickly, there's a good chance you'll go back to using whatever your "substance of choice" was.

And a great many people make that mistake, because they're under the misconception that recovery is a destination, when in fact, it's a journey.  And it's a journey that in order for you to stay on it, you have to keep moving.  Try and look at it like walking up an escalator that's going down.  The moment you stop moving your legs, you start going down.  For most of us, recovery is very much like that - you have to keep moving.

So if you have to keep moving, it makes good sense to make sure you're moving toward something you're actually interested in and enjoy.  That doesn't mean you become a robot, it doesn't mean you "fake it til' you make it," it means you find a type and style of recovery that you can integrate into your life and really enjoy.

The "Base" Philosophy Or Approach

Different recovery programs and groups have different "base" philosophies or approaches.  Some approaches are what we call "confrontational" or "ego-defeating."  In this type of approach, the objective is to break down the false sense of "self" that many people with addictions have.  Some people love that approach, some absolutely hate it.

Based on our collective experience at All Positive Options, we believe that the confrontational approach can often be counter-productive for some people in recovery, particularly for women.  That's because most females in recovery don't suffer from a false sense of self, they're usually lacking a sense of self.  This can be due to many issues, but psychological, physical and sexual abuse suffered at a young age are prime among them.  People like this don't need anyone further breaking them down, they need people to start building them up.

Other philosophies of recovery take just the opposite approach.  Their attitude is that as an addict, you're the " victim" of both a genetic predisposition for addiction and a toxic environment while growing up that promoted that predisposition.

The point is, if you don't agree with the base philosophy of a program, chances are you won't enjoy it, or stay in it very long.

Learning Styles

Whenever possible, you should also try and find a program of recovery that fits your style of learning.  For example, the 12 Step type program like Alcoholics Anonymous inherently and intentionally includes a tremendous amount of repetition and redundancy in them.  This means that certain elements of every meeting you will ever attend is conducted identically each time - word for word.  Some people love this type of approach because they like familiarity.

Others just can't handle the repetition and after a couple of months, they tend to stop going to meetings and eventually drift away from AA, CA or NA.  And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you gave it a good shot and as long as you find something else to replace it.  One thing is for sure - there is no one program or recovery philosophy that suits everyone.  We're all different, and we all have different preferences.

Recovery Is About More Than Just The Addiction

One last point.  You must remember that whatever your addiction is, it's not the problem, it's the symptom of the problem.  Addicts do what they do because it's the only way they think they can cope with their life.  So no matter what program you choose, try and make sure that you're trying to identify those areas of your life experience that contributed to you becoming an addict or alcoholic.

And in that respect, the "sharing" of personal stories in 12 step type groups can be really helpful.  Sometimes we can have a problem all our life and never be able to see it until we hear someone describe it was a problem in their life.  And suddenly, a light goes off in our head and we say, "Hey, that's how it was for me too!  I had that problem or felt that feeling too!"  That's why "sharing" is really a central theme of most 12 step groups and it can be very effective.

So in this tutorial, which is one of our most popular, we examine the 12 Step path of recovery, and some of the more popular alternatives.  Hopefully, this will give you enough information to make some choices for yourself or someone you love who needs help.

We begin on the next page with the 12 Step Movement and groups like Alcoholics Anonymous.

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